Warning: Very loud scream around minute 4:30

Tool 7: When the Knots Start to Untangle

As you begin changing your thoughts, words, focus, and habits, life responds.

But here is the part most people aren’t prepared for:

When you start untangling years of mental knots, the rope doesn’t lie flat immediately.

It loosens.
It shifts.
It sometimes snaps back before settling.

The path forward can feel bumpy.

How long that phase lasts depends on two things:

• How many knots you tied over the years
• How bold your Intention is

Big intention?
Big rearrangement.

Small intention?
Gentler shifts.

Either way, let life fill in the details.

The Illusion of the “Knock-Back”

When you are not used to consciously directing your mentality, the early stages of change can feel like setbacks.

A deal falls through.
A person pulls away.
An opportunity dissolves.
An old issue resurfaces.

The instinct is to think:

“It’s not working.”
“I knew this was too good to be true.”
“Here we go again.”

But later — sometimes weeks, sometimes years — you look back and see clearly:

That “no” protected you.
That delay strengthened you.
That detour redirected you.
That ending made space.

What once looked like resistance was life reorganizing itself around your new frequency.

Life was filling in the details.

Expect the Undulation

Growth is not a straight line.
It’s more like learning to surf.

You rise.
You dip.
You steady.
You wobble.
You ride.

The difference now is this:

You know the wave is not the enemy.

You ride it.

And when you get knocked off balance?

You use Tool 7.

The Two Reset Buttons

When you feel knocked down or knocked off your path, use one of these immediately.

No analysis.
No overthinking.
No storytelling.

Just energy reset.

1. Screaming

Yes. Screaming.

Not at someone.
Not in traffic.
Not in a meeting room.

But in private.

In your car.
In the shower.
In the woods.
Into a pillow.

A full-bodied, uninhibited release.

Why it works:

Emotion is physical energy.
When suppressed, it stagnates.
When expressed safely, it clears.

Animals do this naturally.
Watch a dog shake after a fright.
Watch a child scream, cry, then return to joy seconds later.

Humans tend to bottle.

Screaming interrupts the loop.
It discharges the spike.
It resets the nervous system.

One raw, ridiculous scream can clear hours of internal tension.

And then?

You stand up straighter.

2. Laughter

The second reset button is just as powerful.

Laughter.

Not polite smiling.
Not social giggling.

Deep, deliberate laughter.

Even if you have to fake it at first.

Especially if you have to fake it.

Why?

Because the body does not fully distinguish between forced and spontaneous laughter in the beginning. The breathing shifts. The diaphragm engages. Stress hormones reduce. Endorphins release.

Try this:

When something “goes wrong,” pause and say out loud:

“Well, that’s hilarious.”

Then laugh.

Even if it feels absurd.

You are breaking the seriousness spell.

You are telling your nervous system:

“This is not fatal.”
“This is not identity-threatening.”
“This is just rearrangement.”

Within seconds your physiology changes.
Your perspective widens.
Solutions reappear.

The Practice

The moment you feel:

• Rejected
• Embarrassed
• Frustrated
• Overlooked
• Delayed
• Criticized

Don’t spiral.

Scream or laugh.

Reset.

Then say:

“Life is filling in the details.”

You may not see how yet.
You don’t need to.
You only need to stay on your feet.

A Reframe

The old you interpreted disruption as danger.
The new you interprets disruption as recalibration.

You are not being blocked.
You are being positioned.

It takes experience to trust that.

Until then, use the tools.

Scream.
Laugh.
Stand back up.

And keep walking.

The knots are coming undone.

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When I Learned to Scream

I didn’t discover this tool in a yoga studio.
I found it in a storm.

There was a period in my life when everything felt like it was collapsing at once.

My relationship with my father had deteriorated badly. I had uncovered illegal and deeply immoral activities in both his business and personal life — and worse, he had used my identity in the process. I was dragged into a mess I didn’t create, forced to deal with consequences I didn’t earn.

At the same time, my wife was admitted to hospital in an emergency. The prognosis was uncertain and not encouraging. Her sibling disliked me. Her parents were abroad. There was no support structure.

It was one of those seasons of life where you look around and realize:

You are handling it alone.

I felt knocked-back.
Disoriented.
Angry.
Overwhelmed.

I suspect you have your own version of that story.

Maybe it was financial collapse.
A betrayal.
A health scare.
A divorce.
A public humiliation.

Everyone walking this path has a war story.

If you are in one now, this tool is especially for you.

The Radio Moment

One day during that period, I was driving and listening to BBC Radio 4 — famous in the UK for arts, culture, and thoughtful programming. I had deliberately stopped listening to headline news and argumentative talk shows. I was learning to filter what I fed my mind.

A psychologist was being interviewed about stress.

He said something so simple it startled me.

He said one of the most effective stress-release techniques was this:

Climb a hill.
Stand alone at the summit.
And scream into the wind.

He explained that the physiological stress relief from what he called “scream therapy” had been measured as statistically significant.

Measured.

Not mystical.
Not poetic.
Measured.

Something inside me thought:
“Well, I’ve got nothing to lose.”

The Hill

So I did it.

I found a quiet place. Climbed. Stood alone.

And I screamed.

Not politely.
Not theatrically.
But from somewhere deep in my chest that had been clenching for months.

The first scream felt awkward.

The second felt louder.

The third felt like something broke loose.

It wasn’t about anger at someone.
It wasn’t about blaming.
It wasn’t about drama.

It was discharge.

It was release.

And when I finished, something had shifted.

The circumstances hadn’t changed.
The hospital situation was the same.
The legal mess still existed.

But I was no longer compressed inside it.

There was space again.

Breathing space.
Thinking space.
Strength.

Why It Works

Stress is not abstract.

It is chemical.
Electrical.
Muscular.

When you suppress fear, anger, humiliation, grief — the body holds it.

Jaw tightens.
Shoulders rise.
Breathing shortens.
Cortisol floods.

Screaming is not childish.

It is neurological reset.

It:

• Engages the diaphragm
• Forces full exhalation
• Interrupts looping thought
• Discharges accumulated adrenaline
• Signals completion to the nervous system

Animals do it instinctively.

Humans suppress it socially.

Sometimes suppression becomes illness.

You Are Not Weak

If you are facing something heavy right now, hear this clearly:

Needing release does not mean you are fragile.

It means you are human.

You can carry extraordinary weight —
but even the strongest bridge needs pressure released.

Climb your hill.

Or sit in your parked car.

Or stand in the shower.

And let it out.

No analysis.
No spiritualizing.
No narrative.

Just sound.

Then breathe.

The Shift

After that period in my life, I understood something deeply:

Being knocked-back is not the end.
It is stored energy demanding movement.

Scream.
Then laugh.
Then stand up again.

You are not collapsing.

You are recalibrating.

And once the pressure is released,
clarity returns.

It always does.

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It orks in a car too.

From Lakota text:

As my Heyoka grandfather, John Fire/ Lame Deer and my Heyoka son, Wiconi Was’te have spoken throughout their lives, laughter is a key ingredient to the healing of a soul, identity and nation. Grandpa John spoke of the days when the Heyoka’s humorous exploits filled the soul with laughter and hope when empty stomachs, poverty and hopelessness cast their shadows upon the people. Today with the Heyoka nearly extinct within all of our people, I find more and more the need for their presence to live on. These sacred clowns within our people were the truth tellers who pointed out through their “clowning” and commentary those sensitive or controversial topics which would otherwise not have been addressed. Our beloved Heyoka helped us to question some of the very underlying social issues concerning our own hearts and identities. At times the Heyoka humor was pointed and it shamed people into correcting their mistakes or ideals. The Heyoka also helped to reshape, redefine and renew our relationships with our creator and each other. My son has taught me that laughter is as loud as thunder and for it has the power to pierce through one’s surroundings. The Heyoka know that laughter resounds in a spiritual way, like an echo. Laughter is contagious. When you laugh, others may laugh along with you.

Here is what I do regularly to get back up after getting knocked down:

1. When my mind gets taken over by fearful thoughts (company struggling, wife unwell, investors rejecting my every idea etc… you fill in your own angst) I wind up the car windows, imagine my life as I want it to turn out (super car, *** million on the bank statement etc … again you fill in your own dream) and then I pump my fists and scream as if I just scored the winning point in the final of all finals.

Of course it is a lie, but it works. It switches our emotion from fearful thoughts to powerful achievement and winner attitude. Our hormones and then our thoughts follow. Trust me it works brilliantly. The louder you scream and the harder you pump the better the effect.

2. When things seem to turn against you take a drive alone in the car or walk to a peak. Scream and curse to your heart’s content. Get it out. Get rid. Purge it. The video clip is exactly like it should be.

This ’emotional pumping’ is also something we can use everyday to help us imagine our future as already here. If I feel my energy is lower than I would like I’ll stand in front of the bathroom mirror and simply watch myself pumping me up.

How?

I pump my fists and say something like “I am Trev and I am f****** spectacular.”

Let’s say that you are walking across a parking lot toward the grocery store or workplace. Use this mundane time to pump yourself up. Play you mini-mind movie. Imagine your arms pumping, fists closed, body swaying as it would be when you achieve your dream. Would you still be walking, head bent, shoulders slumped, breathing shallow? No, you would have your head high, chest out, arms pumping. Would you ignore the person who just passed you as you usually do? No you would greet him or her like the reawakened Scrooge on Christmas day greets the world.

All the time your voice would be screaming inside your head… “YYYYeeeeeeesssssss I did it I’m a multi-millionaire and I’m free.” (or whatever your dream is)

Pumping up has a profound effect on rewiring your neural pathways. It also changes your mood so dramatically that you can’t help but connect with the world around you in a different way. You feel happier, you make others happier, you come alive and all with just a little mental trick. Your dreams will arrive a lot quicker when you do these things… and yes, I still do this. In fact I just got back from the butcher store having imagined something amazing… while buying sausages!

3. I laugh a lot. I sometimes put the TV on in the background but only on the comedy channel. Watching a few minutes of a re-run of one of my favorite shows from the past perks me up, makes me smile. Serotonin is released, and before long my energy is back at the frequency I need.

4. I never watch any news or current affairs program… never. If you have a habit of getting a news fix, please break the habit. Your life is at stake. Getting knock-backs after watching sensational media headlines will hurt twice as much and take more than twice the energy to recover.

Think this is tough to do?

Here is the best example from an inspirational woman.

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So your homework here is obvious. Go do it. Go scream in the wind. Go pummel the floor. Go laugh your side off.

Now.

Do it.

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